It's Tricky

This beat is my recital I think it’s very vital To rock a rhyme That’s right on time It’s tricky tricky yo here we go It’s tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a rhyme that’s right on time It’s tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky It’s tricky to rock a rhyme To rock a […]


I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I’ll have the poo-poo platter My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass I said guys I’m like you I like Monster Trucks too Wanna see how many push-ups I can do? I […]


Hell Yeah

Alright now boys and girls we’ve got another story for you now!We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible! Hell yeahHell yeahHell yeahHell yeah If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea If I were God thou […]


Asleep At The Wheel

Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous Break curfew new trip ensues You never know Bloodhounds just go Pack backpack up for down the road No change of clothes but change for tolls Pack of No-Doz Rolos and Skoal Old Milwaukee Jolt black coffee Sugar Daddy Rand McNally A pack of jacks those orange Tic-Tacs Glen Miller tracks […]


One Way

Jimmy Pop’s not a pooper not a pauper but a popperAnd I got more pop than Orville RedenbacherAnd I got more gravy than the whole Gravy TrainWhen I’m kooky going loopy like a man insaneI won’t be around when the world endsSo the only thing that I’ll recycle is your girlfriendAww back to the side […]


Along Comes Mary

Every time I think that I’m the only one who’s lonelySomeone calls on meAnd every now and then I spend my time at rhyme and verseAnd curse those faults in me And then along comes MaryAnd does she want to give me kicks and be my steady chickAnd give me pick of memoriesOr maybe rather […]


A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy’s Hump Palace lookin’ for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin’ hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this […]


She Ain't Got No Legs

BabyYeahThe first time I saw you darling I knew I was in loveTell her DaddyThe way you took your wheelchair up that handicap rampMmm, it’s a mind blowerBut now baby I miss ya I miss yaI miss all the times we played Marco Polo in the poolOh yeahHide and go seek beneath the sheetsOh yeahAnd […]