We don’t have princes and princesses here in America. What we do have is reality television stars. So, much like the royal wedding (but without the silly hats) everyone — that’s right, everyone! — wants to know who is on the guest list for the Kim Kardashian-Kris Humphries wedding being held Aug. 20 in Montecito, Calif. Lucky for you, we have all the answers. (Sort of.) Scroll through to find out who will likely make the cut for the party of the summer.
Kim met Biebs at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner in 2010 and immediately came down with a case of Bieber Fever. The two hung out in the Bahamas and at events around L.A., and then tweeted themselves silly. If he were a little older (and if his fans didn’t threaten to kill her) he could easily play the role of groom at this shindig.
Before jack-of-all-trades Seacrest came on board and gave her a show, Kim was just the hot girl who was friends with Paris Hilton. Their success in reality TV made them total BFFs, so a Kim Kardashian wedding without Seacrest is like “American Idol” without Simon Cowell: “bloody awful.”
Lovato attended Kim’s bridal shower and then referred to her as her “big sister” (in a tweet, obviously. LOL!), so she probably makes the cut. Kim has so many actual sisters that Lovato could probably slip right into the ceremony in a bridesmaid dress and no one would even notice.
Jennifer Lopez A.K.A. J-Lo
Somewhere between hanging out at LIV on South Beach or partying at Miami Dolphins games, these two tush-a-likes became friends. Plus, let’s be honest, J Lo never misses a big event.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith:
The Internet says they will be there, so it must be true. It’s a good idea to have them at the wedding to serve as an inspiration for the newlyweds, as they seem like one of the more successful marriages in Hollywood. Also, they were able to make their kids famous at an even younger age than the Kardashian girls, so Kris Jenner will definitely want them at her table.
Jay-Z and Beyonce:
Jay-Z is part-owner of Kris Humphries’s New Jersey Nets, so assuming Kris had a say in the matter, his boss would have to get the invite to the big day. With Jay and B’s A-list status and ability to score Kim courtside seats, how could Kim ever say no?
Kim partied in Miami for Eva’s 35th birthday and in LA for her 1920s-themed 36th bash, which in Hollywood makes them as close to best friends as you can get. She’ll be there, and she gets my vote for the most likely to end up the gossip columns the next day.
Kim and Kanye are close enough that just a year ago, rumors swirled that the two were an item. She turned up at a party he was hosting in Chicago, and he went to her birthday party on a yacht in New York — but they were both quick to call each other friends. If he wasn’t invited, then he’d probably show up anyway, hop onstage and tell the crowd why he should have been invited.
The former Spice Girl bonded with Kim K at a Sugar Factory Lollipops event in L.A. in January 2010, and by the beginning of this month, Kim was close enough to attend her baby shower, where they undoubtedly shared tips on how to stay famous forever.
Tyra told press that she’s seen Kim’s Vera Wang wedding dress, and that she made the cut for this exclusive guest list. But, this may the last time we see Tyra at a Kardashian affair, since she told People that as a gift, she plans to get the newlyweds, “Nothing! A kiss and a congratulations.”
It was Ciara, a Kim K confidant, who convinced Kim to record her debut single “Jam” earlier this year, and yet, miraculously they are still friends. Ciara says she is still invited, so we’ll take her word for it.
Like everyone else in attendance, Serena turned to Twitter to congratulate Kim at the bridal shower, writing, “@KimKardashian you looked radiant today.love u enjoy this moment.” Expect Serena to turn up in formal wear made by Nike.
Avril dates Brody Jenner, the son of Olympic champion and Kris Jenner’s whipping boy, Bruce Jenner, so she’s practically one of the family these days. Rumors are swirling that they may be the next to walk down the aisle. After all, they’ve been together for nearly two years, and in this family, that’s practically a lifetime.
The former “Gastineau Girls” star is quite possibly Kim’s actual best friend, but she won’t be the maid of honor, since Kim has sisters. What she will do is fill whatever void Paris Hilton left when she and Kim broke up a few years back. A good socialite sidekick is not as easy to find as one would think.
A former Los Angeles Laker and current teammate of Kris Humphries, Farmar is credited as the one who introduced Kris and Kim. That practically guarantees him an invite, and if Kim had any of-age single sisters, then he’d probably be a Kardashian by 2012.
Both the product of reality show families, the two are often seen hopping around L.A.’s party scene together. Now that Osbourne’s cracking jokes at the expense of all sorts of celebrities in “Fashion Police” on E!, Kim better hope that Osbourne likes her dress.
La La Vazquez:
Kim was on hand last year when this former MTV VJ married NBA star Carmelo Anthony, and La La was at Kim’s bachelorette party at Tao Las Vegas, so she’s definitely in the inner circle. On Aug. 22, though, La La becomes the competition, as she debuts her reality show “La La’s Full Court Life” on VH1. Good thing the wedding is two days before.
Jonathan Cheban and Simon Huck:
Kim became a media darling with the help of her pals, publicists Cheban and Huck, and she returned the favor by producing “The Spin Crowd,” a reality show about their lives. Count on these two spinsters to help control the press at the wedding and feed Kim her lines when necessary.
The power lawyer who famously joined Kim’s dad on the O. J. Simpson “dream team” is a longtime family friend. He was at Khloe’s wedding, so unless we see a suspicious white Ford Bronco driving down interstate 405, he’ll likely be there to celebrate.
The “Girls Gone Wild” creator somehow found a way to bond with the Kardashian girls, even though, to my knowledge, none of them have ever flashed a camera for a free T-shirt. He’s got a cool house in Mexico that all the stars like to hang out at, so that’s enough to get him the invite.
OK, so we realize this is an obvious one, but it’s fun to remember that this dude is now going to play a featured role in the life of Kris Humphries. Count on Disick to make his presence known immediately. After all, the wedding will be featured in four hours of televised fun, so someone has to be there to cause some trouble.